The question for today makes me feel a bit uneasy. It’s about regrets.
Regrets about our relationship or about what I’ve done in my life.
Let me get up close and personal on this one because it is, I think, the one “regret” I have in our relationship. It is something I didn’t do in a very crucial time and to be very honest I don’t really like to think about it because I want to kick myself every time I do.
Last summer, when we were planning my move to Sweden, me and my boyfriend were trying to figure out the best path for me to go over there without having any problems. I “checked” as much as I thought necessary and I let him do his research too. In the end, we were told that it’d be ok for me to go over there with my regular passport and that after the three month “free tourist” period all I’d have to do was go to Stockholm, to the Mexican embassy, and ask for an “extension on my trip”. We were, of course, very happy with that answer so we started planning for my move right away. I sold my car, pack everything I could in those two suitcases and was ready to say goodbye.
Needless to say, it wasn’t the case.
Ater the three month period I had to come back to Mexico and apply for a residence permit.
What I regret in that story is this: I could’ve done more.
Could’ve. Should’ve. Would’ve. Right?
Looking back, I truly believe that I could’ve read more, call or email more people about this matter. In my heart I feel that I left it to Him. I trusted that He’d know what to do, who to call and what to say. And that is NOT fair. I should’ve taken more responsability in the process. Nevertheless, please do not think I blame him in any way for what we are going through because I don’t. I truly don’t. He knew as much as me about immigrating to a EU Country from a Non-EU Country. It was just how the story happened.
With that said, you have to know that I believe that everything happens for a reason and if we are apart right now is all part of our path. And I know someday I’ll know what the reason was (I bet is a really good one!). I trust the process.
Regret is a difficult topic for me to write about because I do not believe in regrets. I whole heartedly believe that everything we go through, the good and the bad, happens for a reason.
That’s the thing about regrets. They are POINTLESS. The choices we make and the results from those choices is what had to happen to us in that moment in time. Trust that and let go.
Yet, I’m writing about that experience because it made a huge impact on our lives and I think made our relationship what it is today. It tore us apart but made us pull ourselves back together and focus even harder on what we want.