When doors close

OK, here they are. The words I have been running away from.

Things are different for me. My reality, my life has changed once again and here I am trying to make sense of it all with these words.

I feel as though exploding is the only alternative to keep bottling up my feelings. You see, this, right now, for me is magical. Not because I think my problems fade away, but because I pour them into the world in the hopes of someone out there catches them and feels connected. And that, my friend, gives me peace.

I have a theory for why I felt the need to write today. It is because it became too much for me. Too much change. Too much adjusting. Too much expected. Too much to say goodbye to. A love, a hope, a present, a future, a whole life. Yes, all of it was only in my head and heart but it meant the world to me. And dreams matter. From the “smallest” to the “biggest” ones. They all matter because they are yours.

Along the way I have gained new opportunities that give me new direction, but still, my heart aches. And so I want to acknowledge it, then release it. I am grateful though, that even in my darkest times I feel blessed for the chance to keep trying, to grow.

Nevertheless, I cannot help but feel  I have done things the wrong way and it scares me. It scares me because I do not want to go through this pain again. So what do I do? How do I dust myself off and move forward?

Each day, one foot in front of the other I suppose. Things will fall into place. I hope so. Maybe my dreams for my life will become a reality with someone else beside me, with another view outside my window.

In the end, all I can say is: At least I gave it a shot, I gave it my all. Sometimes life sends us in a different path and that is OK. At least we tried.

Until next time world.

With love,

Ale

Duality

Hello friends,

I call you friends because there is a connection created by you, the reader, and me when you read the words I put out there in the world. A beautiful connection that gives me relief when I need it most. Some days, I feel an urge to write. I believe it is because I have no other means of expressing and releasing my inner most hidden thoughts and fears. We all have fears, some more hidden than others, but in our hearts they can be heavier to handle on our own. Today is one of those days.

There have been many unique and special circumstances in my life during these past couple of years. Yes, it has been incredibly wonderful with heights higher that I ever thought possible, but with tremendous difficulties that have brought me to my knees. In these I can see the duality of life.

“If we never experience the chill of a dark winter, it is very unlikely that we will ever cherish the warmth of a bright summer’s day. Nothing stimulates our appetite for the simple joys of life more than the starvation caused by sadness or desperation. In order to complete our amazing life journey successfully, it is vital that we turn each and every dark tear into a pearl of wisdom, and find the blessing in every curse.”

– Anthon St. Maarten

How unfair life seems at times. During the moments where we are at our weakest and without patience, it is very easy to let go of what we want. To give in to the fear and despair. In doing so, the thoughts that come to my mind are full of uncertainty and disbelief that my decisions are right. So how do I go on from there?

The only thing to do is keep going. This is in fact my very best attempt at my life’s circumstances. And I believe that I need to accept where I am and who I am. The latter being different from the former. Who I am is based on my values, principles and beliefs. Where I am is based on decisions and gambles I have made.

It is not easy though, it never is.

So here I am right now. Trying to make it even when I feel like I am drowning.

From my heart,

Ale

5 tips to pamper your spirit

We all have those days were we feel the weight of the world on our shoulders. Days where it is easy to forget all the good advice and positivity quotes you have ever gotten. If this sounds familiar, stick around and let’s find out together if these tips work for you and can help your spirit soar once again.

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1. Go for a walk

I love nature. I never feel as sincerely at peace as I do when I am outside enjoying nature. I take one look at the sky and suddenly my world and troubles seem brighter and less heavy. Maybe because it gives me a chance to observe how the world is full of people and it is not only about me and my issues. So go outside and walk it off. Look at the world and find the beauty that surrounds you.

Take the time to observe the trees, listen to the wind and the laughter of kids. Pay attention to the hints of life that come towards you in every step you take.

2. Read a good book

I know it probably sounds contradicting that the second piece of advice is the opposite of the previous one. However, both of them help depending on your specific situation. For me, it is not always a possibility to go out on a walk given that I live in a desert climate. And let me tell you, oftentimes temperatures get very, very high and nobody wants to be walking in the sun in those conditions. So I grab my favorite book, turn on the AC and emerge myself in the author’s world.

For example, right now I have on my reading list Sherlock Holmes, Message in the bottle and a couple of not so recreational reading materials. But I decided to start reading Bridget Jones simply because I knew I loved that movie, I wanted something to make me smile and gave me comfort during these difficult times. It worked! I love getting caught in a funny British conversation with Bridget and her gang. It makes me smile in times where a smile does not come as easy.

For me, sometimes it is all about getting lost in another world while I figure out what I am going to do in mine. Maybe it has something to do with me trying to evade what troubles me. But when I am feeling overwhelmed, I think the best action to take first is work on getting rid of that overwhelming state of mind. A book helps. Then you can focus on the rest of your troubles.

3. Exercise

Bear with me, it does help I promise! It helps you lose focus on the shitty things that drag you down. It clears your head and allows your blood to flow all over your body, it gives you a push and boost of energy. It makes you feel strong and powerful. Just try it. You have nothing to lose and so much to gain. Find the perfect exercising routine for those gloomy days.

4. Go out with your best friend

Now this is an easy one that I often neglect. When I get caught up in my own head and problems I feel so shitty that I don’t even feel like hanging out with my friends. This is not always a smart idea. Going out with your friends gives you a safe place to talk about what is hurting you, to let those feeling and ideas out and listen to advice from people who loves you. And if you are not in the mood to talk, you can always have a good time just hanging out with some of your favorite people in the world. Make time for those people, they want what’s best for you.

5. Take a day to feel your feelings

This is one that I acquired only recently and it has made a huge change. I used to want to bottle my feelings and pretend to be fine with the people around me. Why in the world did I feel the need to hide my true emotions? I’ll never know. All I know is that it takes twice as much energy to pretend than to acknowledge your feelings. It is never easy, though, opening up and being vulnerable. But it has some reward, because it lets you be completely true to yourself.

On my not so great days I catch up on my favorite shows, listen to good music, do laundry (I know, weird, but hey I like it), and write. I love writing my thoughts about everything and nothing. It helps me release what creates a lump in my throat and all the crazy ideas. Now you do not necessarily have to post it online. Most of the writing that comes out during those periods really need to be proofread. I have learned this the hard way. Just write it and save it for your eyes only if you need to.

There you have it my friends, some of the things I do during my difficult days where life seems too complicated. I hope they help and can lift your spirits.

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With lots of love,

Ale

Book nook: What I know for sure

There have been many books in my lifetime that have changed my view on life. From an excerpt taken from them, the idea behind them or the connections I have created with them. Books are, and always will be, a safe haven for me. A chance to travel and imagine myself in places and situations where I have never been or would love to experience.

I decided to start this series called Book nook to present those literary jewels than have shaped the woman I am today and also the ones that shape me along the way.

The first book on this series is one that I believe found its way to me all by itself.

One afternoon I decided to go to my public library and pick some books for the month. I browsed through the shelves and suddenly I stopped at one and picked it out of the bunch. It was What I know for sure by the one and only, Oprah Winfrey.

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I had never read anything by her and knowing almost nothing about her except how famous she was I decided to take it home with me. Best decision ever.

This book is filled with stories that help the reader connect to the words of wisdom this amazing lady has to offer. It inspires your heart to be kinder. Opens your mind to greater possibilities. Teaches you that whatever it is that you want to achieve in your life you can do it, it is on you to make it happen. It gives you strength.

One of the many wonderfully wise lines written in this book is this:

You live. And if you’re open to the world, you learn.

I think the idea behind What I know for sure is this very one. It is a story about all those experiences and lessons in Ms. Winfrey’s life that took her to a place of success and self-awareness. It is an insight into her mind. What a treat to take a peek in there. I don’t think you would regret it.

Now, if you are more into audio books, I will give this link to the Audiobook excerpt: What I know for sure by Oprah Winfrey (I just love it when authors are the ones that read their books, don’t you?):

Please let me know what you think and if you have any recommendations on a good and enriching book for me.

With love,

Ale

One more year, what a gift!

Today is the eve of my birthday. For the past few days I’ve been getting caught up in a sort of daze about my life because of this matter. It is funny to think how much I grew in the course of one year. It was not an easy year for me, far from it, thus leading me to self-awareness and growth. I believe in looking at the bright side of things. Finding beauty in random places and thinking the best of a circumstance. However, there are days with dimmer light than others.

Today I am thinking of my life. Where I am, what I’ve done. The choices I’ve made and how they have led me to this place in this moment. I am in a pensive state. The results of an upcoming birthday and getting older. Life is viewed so differently as you get older. It is wonderfully complex.

Looking back at the last year of my life, I see mainly hope and love. My year started with an idea of writing a new chapter with Him in Sweden. Life happened and now here I am, across the Atlantic, many kilometers away from all of that. Knowing, though, that my dreams are coming towards me. It is just a lesson of patience and perseverance. One I needed to learn.

This year I am filled with a heartwarming sense of gratitude. I know I am never alone because God always has my back. It’s an amazing feeling.

I start this next year of my life knowing I am more patient. That shit happens and it’s up to you to choose how to take it in. Even though shitty things happen in life, IT DOES NOT MEAN life is shitty. Deal with it. This is my story and I choose the words to write in it.

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So be careful with your storyline, you only get one book to write. One life.

Have a wonderful and blessed week.

With love,

Ale

Un pensamiento, un suspiro

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Que es el amor,

si no un lazo, un deseo, una esperanza.

Te amo? Si. De eso no tengo duda.

¿Se podrá, entonces, con ese fundamento lograr todo? 

La incertidumbre y el miedo llenan de repente el alma.

En un abrir y cerrar de ojos todo se derrumba y la vista se nubla.

Se hace el silencio.

Y la luz de la esperanza busca su libertad a mi alrededor.

 

 

Afternoon walks

Today I went out for a walk. I love walks. Especially when the weather is cooperating and I can enjoy the sun in the horizon, the beautiful clouds in the sky and I people sitting outside of their homes, having a cup of coffee and talking. Seeing kids play in the park, couples hanging out and others exercising and enjoying the afternoon. I just love it. It’s the perfect excuse to appreciate your surroundings and connect to random people in the streets.

Like me today! I got to talk to another fellow dog owner who was walking his doggie, I said hi to a bunch of people walking by me and my dog and all of it with a smile on their faces. It’s nice to feel like it’s not just you out there.

One of my favorite activities to do with my boyfriend is walking. ESPECIALLY in SWEDEN. My God! Walks there are on another level. Going from basically the desert, where there is only a few days of rain in the year to a gorgeous tree covered country filled with lakes everywhere it’s MAGICAL. Every time we went out for a walk during my visits there, we saw deer. Every. Single. Time. That for me is pretty magical!! Growing up with the Disney movie Bambi as one of my favorites you can only imagine hehehe…

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I miss those walks. Even walking beside him here, in my Mexico, I miss them. Which is why I got inspired to write this. In order to send it to the universe.

Dear Universe, I want to go walking/hiking in Sweden. Please, allow that to happen for us as soon as possible. PS: I promise I will always be grateful and I shall respect nature and all the animals I encounter. Thanks in advance, Ale.

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Ok, now that I got that out my chest. Back to the talk. One of the happy aspects about being in a LDR is the fact that you get a chance to imagine many wonderful things. You get to hope and dream about the next adventure together and you get to make it a reality when you truly go after it. I love that too. Making my dreams, even the simplest ones, come true.

This post turned out to be very rambly but hopefully inspirational for my fellow LDR couples out there. Not every couple knows what it means to be apart from the person you love, so let’s stick together and share our journey through the cyber world. What do you look forward to do with your other half?

With love,

Ale

A visit to the park

Today I was walking home from the gym in one of those wonderful post workout highs. It was such a good burn today, I really enjoyed it. We did kickboxing and I did a lot of sweatin’ but hey, that’s the point right?

Anyways, it was such a gorgeous afternoon! I looked up at the sky and the most amazing cloud was bright and shiny above me. Here’s the picture I took with my phone. Not the greatest one, excuse the million cables and wires around it please, I did my best with what I had at the time. I had to capture it immediately!

 That sight really made me think about my blessing and the beauty around me. So, I decided to stop at the park and just walk around there. Look at the kids playing, the moms looking after them and the birds flying above all of us. I decided to keep walking to a different park, the one closer to my house, and while there I went on a swing ride. It felt like the perfect way to end my afternoon!!! It cleared my mind and made me focus on nothing but positive things! I kept having a goofy smile on my face for no particular reason. The trees looked prettier and everything around me was just magical. Seriously!

If I leave you with something good for today let it be this piece of advice. Go out, exercise and move your body. Then, go to your nearest park and go on the swings. Smile for no particular reason. Take long swings and pretend you’re a kid with nothing to worry about. Look up at the sky while you do it and truly enjoy the view.

With love,

Ale

A hidden connection

Hey guys!

The weirdest thing happened the other day. Do you believe in soul mates? Not talking about romance, love & wedding bell soulmates. I’m talking about those people you encounter. People you find while walking the streets of life. A person with whom you have a random talk with. Someone with whom you share a moment. Someone that opens your eyes in a strange and unique way, allowing you to see a lot of yourself in that person. In that moment, something happens that makes you think about how nothing is random in life.

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This may sound odd for some people if you’ve never experienced such a thing. But I got to say, it is quite beautiful. Let me elaborate on that. It has beauty because it allows people to realize how truly connected we are as human beings. We are not different, we are all the same. Regardless of how close you are. Age differences. Social background. Etc. When you’re sitting there, having a cup of coffee, talking about the things you love, what moves you, what scares you, motivates you, lifts you up or brings you down. In the end, you connect with another person. It’s priceless.

I started thinking about this after a morning coffee date with a friend. A beautiful soul I know from not too long ago. It was the weirdest thing listening to her words about the struggles she’s had, her fears, even the beams of light she finds in her everyday life. It was weird because I never met anyone else that experienced life the way she does, which is pretty close to what I do. Moreover, we are going though similar circumstances at the moment which of course is the perfect background for all the rest.

The point of today’s post was to remind me that I am not alone in my struggles and there is always someone out there for me to connect. So keep your eyes of the soul open and your heart willing to find wonders everywhere.

Thanks for the talk my friend!

With love,

Ale

Talking about extremes

As I grow older I realize how truly diverse and complex our world truly is. I’m not speaking about nature and all of living creatures. That’s a marvel on its own. Rather my focus is on the people and the circumstances that come our way.

As a child you hear about black and white situations. You know there is right and wrong. Good and bad actions. You know, to a certain extent, that sadness and happines exist. Nevertheless, as the years go by and your eyes and ears are open wider, you notice the reality of it all.

Hate and love is all around us, everyday. In small acts and in big ones. Now more so than ever, we are able to connect with the world and see what’s happening all over the planet. Hate and love is everywhere.

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Photo cred: ME! Isn’t this a beautiful plant? I had to take a picture of it 🙂

Even with a sharp exterior, these leaves need exactly the same as the softer ones.

I felt inspired to write about this because it’s hard for me (still) to believe how terrible we as humans can be, yet at the same time we are capable of such breathtaking love. This complexity of human beings is a wonder to me. And it makes me wonder about the circumstances that these “bad” people have had to overcome in order to become “these” people. What do they experience? How do they view the world around them? What triggers kindness and/or meanness?

So many questions and ideas. However, in the end, all that matters is how you, or each individual, treat the people and the world around you. That’s everything we can control. And that small action counts. Believe me.

With love,

Ale