Family affairs

Alcohol consumption.

Could we please have a conversation about this topic?

I have come to realize, as an adult, that in my family it is inconceivable, even laughable for some, to have a family get together, party or a celebration, without drinking alcohol.

Granted, it is never to the point where people cannot keep their balance or a proper conversation. Nevertheless, it does make me wonder about the message this practice sends to the kids in the family. Regardless of the fact that I do not have kids, I am still concerned for kids going through life getting those messages constantly.

A message that beer is an essential part of a celebration. A message that beer is a typical word for them to use.

Personally, I do not want my kids, future kids, to make that word part of their vocabulary. I would like to provide something different. I still don’t quite know how to put it into words. All I know is that I think about how they are going to see me and I want a different context.

However, I am also aware there is not a set of steps to follow to become a “good parent”. There is no SURE PATH, ONE WAY to be a good parent. I merely pray to be the best version of me when that time comes.

On the other hand, it saddens me every single time when I try and touch the subject with some of my family members because I am perceived as ridiculous. People roll their eyes and that is the end of the conversation. Turn around, walk away.

Where is open mindedness?

Where is understanding?

And in all of this I wonder…

Am I being ridiculous?

Am I lacking an open mind?

Am I not being sympathetic?

I do not believe in pointing fingers without taking a look at my own life first. Without evaluating how I am. Because if you don’t, you become the problem or part of it as well.

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In the end, my conclusion is to take the good from the situation. Which is plenty as it is. As for the actions I don’t embrace, just accept that I will do something when my time comes. We all have our paths in life, and it is not my place to lead someone else’s to my own.

Have a wonderful, safe and blessed day you beautiful person reading this.

With love,

Ale

NOTE: This post is not about judgement on anyone. I want to make it very clear. It is about expressing my point of view on a circumstance that I see and/or experience.
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Day 21: 31 Day LDR Challenge

Today’s topic is rather uncomfortable. Private. Intimate. Just for the two people involved. So, let’s just skip it and go to the next one 🙂

Day 22: 31 Day LDR Challenge

A cute story… that shouldn’t be a problem. We have a bunch! The problem here is to pick one. I guess I could talk about the first time he “asked me out”. I don’t know what he’s going to think about me telling this story online, but I guess we’ll find out. This is my way to keep track of my life and he’s a very big part of it. *Love you baby*

So for those of you who don’t know about how we first met please go read this post: How did we meet? I can wait, no problem!

Ok now that you know the context, this story can make more sense.

If you have to know one thing about my boyfriend is that he is not a ladies man. And I mean it in the sense that he can be shy and awkward when he is interested in a girl. Again, SORRY BABE!. When I met him though, we didn’t seem to have a problem with this because conversations were easily created in the house. During dinner, breakfast or simply hanging out in the kitchen. We were able to talk a lot about several important topics like family, beliefs, upbringing, education and other things really early on. This created a wonderfully sincere connection between us.

One beautiful spring morning I was at the university already doing my things for my masters when I got a text by him saying something like “Lunch today?

Romantic, huh?

So I said yes and we ended up having lunch at a burger joint on campus. It was DELICIOUS! but I’m drifting as usual. We talked a lot, I felt his vibe and tried to flirt a bit which is kind of hard when your face has traces of mayo and ketchup. But I managed like a pro. I think so. It was a pretty cute first date to be honest. Light and easy.

Well there you go, that’s our very romantic first date. Oh yeah baby. If anyone out there wants to tell me their story please do it. I’d love to hear it. Until next time.

With love,

Ale

 

 

LDR struggles

Today is a difficult day for me to be in a LDR. For some of you couples out there, you understand how painful it can be. To be completely honest, it’s not difficult all the time. Some days though, it can be brutal. Today is one of those days for me.

I’m sitting here in my room trying to bring myself to feel joy and happiness without him close to me, but I just can’t. I miss him too much. I miss him to the point where I’m really close to start thinking about why we do this to ourselves. But I won’t. I refuse to. Instead, I create amazing scenarios in my head about what our future together will be like. Simple everyday things like going for a walk in the woods. Grocery shopping at ICA. Bike rides alongside the roads. Sitting in the couch while the rain softly falls on the plants outside our window. Drinking hot tea and eating a biscuit. Cuddling together in the soft glimmer of candlelight. Yeah, I miss him very much.

It will never be an easy task to love someone from a distance. It is, for me, a circumstance that I accept for the man I love. For the love I feel. For what I want. I embrace it because right now there are no other paths I can follow. It is as if we’re on hold. Waiting for something that will clear the road for us to walk on.

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I try to focus on that road and the cleared path that’ll be in front of us once we’re there. It helps. Because not all is lost. There is still hope for us, for our love.

To you fellow LDRers, stay focused on that beauty you’re trying to catch. If your heart truly beats for it, then you will master a way to be OK with what you have to go through to get to it. Love is magical. It has no explanation. We merely have to feel it. And when the love you feel is strong enough, it is worth fighting for. With everything you have.

With love,

Ale

 

Afternoon walks

Today I went out for a walk. I love walks. Especially when the weather is cooperating and I can enjoy the sun in the horizon, the beautiful clouds in the sky and I people sitting outside of their homes, having a cup of coffee and talking. Seeing kids play in the park, couples hanging out and others exercising and enjoying the afternoon. I just love it. It’s the perfect excuse to appreciate your surroundings and connect to random people in the streets.

Like me today! I got to talk to another fellow dog owner who was walking his doggie, I said hi to a bunch of people walking by me and my dog and all of it with a smile on their faces. It’s nice to feel like it’s not just you out there.

One of my favorite activities to do with my boyfriend is walking. ESPECIALLY in SWEDEN. My God! Walks there are on another level. Going from basically the desert, where there is only a few days of rain in the year to a gorgeous tree covered country filled with lakes everywhere it’s MAGICAL. Every time we went out for a walk during my visits there, we saw deer. Every. Single. Time. That for me is pretty magical!! Growing up with the Disney movie Bambi as one of my favorites you can only imagine hehehe…

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I miss those walks. Even walking beside him here, in my Mexico, I miss them. Which is why I got inspired to write this. In order to send it to the universe.

Dear Universe, I want to go walking/hiking in Sweden. Please, allow that to happen for us as soon as possible. PS: I promise I will always be grateful and I shall respect nature and all the animals I encounter. Thanks in advance, Ale.

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Ok, now that I got that out my chest. Back to the talk. One of the happy aspects about being in a LDR is the fact that you get a chance to imagine many wonderful things. You get to hope and dream about the next adventure together and you get to make it a reality when you truly go after it. I love that too. Making my dreams, even the simplest ones, come true.

This post turned out to be very rambly but hopefully inspirational for my fellow LDR couples out there. Not every couple knows what it means to be apart from the person you love, so let’s stick together and share our journey through the cyber world. What do you look forward to do with your other half?

With love,

Ale

3 Things I love about my México

Today I decided to write about a very special topic: my country.

I know there are tons of negatives we can say about Mexico. The first thing that comes to the minds of foreigners when they hear Mexico is drugs. I don’t want to address that topic because it can go on forever. Instead, I want to focus on the good parts. The wonderful and special attributes that make this country so amazing.

To start this conversation, I want to say that after being part of a long distance relationship with someone from a different country has opened my eyes in a whole new way. It allowed me to see myself and my surroundings with a new light and I can appreciate more the traditions and customs of my people.

Spirituality

The urge of writing about this happened during Sunday service. It was almost the end of the mass when the priest asked a couple with a newborn baby to go to the altar with him. You see in Mexico, it is customary that when you have a baby you go and present him/her to God. You go to church to have the baby blessed by the priest for good health and life. This simple act, I love. And it is connected with many more traditional rituals in Mexico. All of which are part of our spiritual development and growth. For me, SPIRITUALITY is as important as breathing.

I love being from a country where being spiritual actually means something. Where people believe in something bigger and more mighty then pure randomness. Mexico is a very big catholic country and every time I see people worship their beliefs I feel a tingle inside and it gives me happiness. (Please Note: this is not meant to open a fight about personal religious beliefs and/or spirituality. Please take this for what it is: my take on life. You have your beliefs and I respect you for them. Spread love not hate. Thank you!).

PLANNING

Another very big aspect that I think defines Mexican people is PLANNING. Or the lack of LOL!. There’s a special trait we share. We have the gift of creating a party in no time, with delicious food, great music and a bunch of family members and friends. I’m not just saying this, it’s something that certain Dutch people have noticed about us hehe.

Over the past two years, my boyfriend has come to visit me in three different occasions and every single time he makes a comment on this very matter. And when I’m visiting him I get to experience how they go about this business. It’s pretty hilarious to be honest. Because I don’t know how we can get it done with no real planning behind it, things just work out, plans happen and calls and texts get send. That’s it! No other secret. In Sweden, on the other hand, it’s not quite the same. AT ALL. People plan weeks in advance, write things on calendars, make appointments, dinner dates, they synchronize schedules, etc. Even when it’s something as simple as go out with your family. Crazy how different this is across cultures, right?

On a different note, now I warmthfeel like talking about a topic that hits my heart in a special place because of my love. When I first introduced my Dutch man to my family here in Mexico it became a big party for almost my entire family. That first day when we got home from the U.S. my mom had decorated my room with balloons and welcome signs for him (she’s the best mom ever). She had my nephews draw pictures and write messages for him to hang. That same evening my family came over and we barbequed, my aunt brought a cake with welcome signs again in all four languages (Dutch, English, Swedish and Spanish) and we had a blast. The food was delicious!

I still remember the look on his face after meeting everyone and when getting all of this love from my family *so cute*. Later that night, he told me no one had ever done anything like that for him, and that he couldn’t imagine how people that had never met him could express so much love for a stranger. All because I love him. Because he’s special to me. Indeed this is how my family is. WARM. Open hearted people. I’m one lucky girl.

All in all, I love being from Mexico. With the bad, regular and amazing aspects that come with it. I am thankful for being born in a family that surrounds me with love and acceptance, friends that are there for me, and a guardian angel that’s always by my side. Stay happy, grateful, healthy and blessed.

With love,

Ale

A visit to the park

Today I was walking home from the gym in one of those wonderful post workout highs. It was such a good burn today, I really enjoyed it. We did kickboxing and I did a lot of sweatin’ but hey, that’s the point right?

Anyways, it was such a gorgeous afternoon! I looked up at the sky and the most amazing cloud was bright and shiny above me. Here’s the picture I took with my phone. Not the greatest one, excuse the million cables and wires around it please, I did my best with what I had at the time. I had to capture it immediately!

 That sight really made me think about my blessing and the beauty around me. So, I decided to stop at the park and just walk around there. Look at the kids playing, the moms looking after them and the birds flying above all of us. I decided to keep walking to a different park, the one closer to my house, and while there I went on a swing ride. It felt like the perfect way to end my afternoon!!! It cleared my mind and made me focus on nothing but positive things! I kept having a goofy smile on my face for no particular reason. The trees looked prettier and everything around me was just magical. Seriously!

If I leave you with something good for today let it be this piece of advice. Go out, exercise and move your body. Then, go to your nearest park and go on the swings. Smile for no particular reason. Take long swings and pretend you’re a kid with nothing to worry about. Look up at the sky while you do it and truly enjoy the view.

With love,

Ale

A hidden connection

Hey guys!

The weirdest thing happened the other day. Do you believe in soul mates? Not talking about romance, love & wedding bell soulmates. I’m talking about those people you encounter. People you find while walking the streets of life. A person with whom you have a random talk with. Someone with whom you share a moment. Someone that opens your eyes in a strange and unique way, allowing you to see a lot of yourself in that person. In that moment, something happens that makes you think about how nothing is random in life.

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This may sound odd for some people if you’ve never experienced such a thing. But I got to say, it is quite beautiful. Let me elaborate on that. It has beauty because it allows people to realize how truly connected we are as human beings. We are not different, we are all the same. Regardless of how close you are. Age differences. Social background. Etc. When you’re sitting there, having a cup of coffee, talking about the things you love, what moves you, what scares you, motivates you, lifts you up or brings you down. In the end, you connect with another person. It’s priceless.

I started thinking about this after a morning coffee date with a friend. A beautiful soul I know from not too long ago. It was the weirdest thing listening to her words about the struggles she’s had, her fears, even the beams of light she finds in her everyday life. It was weird because I never met anyone else that experienced life the way she does, which is pretty close to what I do. Moreover, we are going though similar circumstances at the moment which of course is the perfect background for all the rest.

The point of today’s post was to remind me that I am not alone in my struggles and there is always someone out there for me to connect. So keep your eyes of the soul open and your heart willing to find wonders everywhere.

Thanks for the talk my friend!

With love,

Ale

Day 20: 30 Day LDR Challenge

Hey lovelies,

The question for today makes me feel a bit uneasy. It’s about regrets.

Regrets about our relationship or about what I’ve done in my life.

Let me get up close and personal on this one because it is, I think, the one “regret” I have in our relationship. It is something I didn’t do in a very crucial time and to be very honest I don’t really like to think about it because I want to kick myself every time I do.

Last summer, when we were planning my move to Sweden, me and my boyfriend were trying to figure out the best path for me to go over there without having any problems. I “checked” as much as I thought necessary and I let him do his research too. In the end, we were told that it’d be ok for me to go over there with my regular passport and that after the three month “free tourist” period all I’d have to do was go to Stockholm, to the Mexican embassy, and ask for an “extension on my trip”. We were, of course, very happy with that answer so we started planning for my move right away. I sold my car, pack everything I could in those two suitcases and was ready to say goodbye.

Needless to say, it wasn’t the case.

Ater the three month period I had to come back to Mexico and apply for a residence permit.

What I regret in that story is this: I could’ve done more.

Could’ve. Should’ve. Would’ve. Right? 

Looking back, I truly believe that I could’ve read more, call or email more people about this matter. In my heart I feel that I left it to Him. I trusted that He’d know what to do, who to call and what to say. And that is NOT fair. I should’ve taken more responsability in the process. Nevertheless, please do not think I blame him in any way for what we are going through because I don’t. I truly don’t. He knew as much as me about immigrating to a EU Country from a Non-EU Country. It was just how the story happened.

With that said, you have to know that I believe that everything happens for a reason and if we are apart right now is all part of our path. And I know someday I’ll know what the reason was (I bet is a really good one!). I trust the process.

Regret is a difficult topic for me to write about because I do not believe in regrets. I whole heartedly believe that everything we go through, the good and the bad, happens for a reason.

That’s the thing about regrets. They are POINTLESS. The choices we make and the results from those choices is what had to happen to us in that moment in time. Trust that and let go.

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Yet, I’m writing about that experience because it made a huge impact on our lives and I think made our relationship what it is today. It tore us apart but made us pull ourselves back together and focus even harder on what we want.

With love,

Ale

 

Day 19: 30 Day LDR Challenge

I miss my boyfriend.

As obvious as that statement is I feel the urge to write it anyway.

One of the many attributes Mr. Boy has is his ability for languages. He is so darn good at them! I am jelly! He speaks three and one quarter languages. I count Spanish as one quarter of the way because I got a chance to see him juggle his newly gain spanish words this last visit to Mexico and let me tell you, He’s gotten very very good at it!

On the other hand, this experience gave me another chance to see how mexican culture is when it comes to speaking a second language. For some unexplicable reason we tend to freak out when it comes to do it. We hate it. We feel immediately embarrased by it. We panic at the mere mention. All in all I would say, from my experience, we don’t really like it that much. Oh and just to make it clearer, I say we because I am too a mexican but not because I share that mentality. I actually love languages. They’re intriguing to me. They are actually sexy *-*

With that said, I can now answer the next question for this LDR challenge. My favorite things to hear him say is whatever just as long as it is in Dutch.

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It is!!! I think so anyway. There’s something rough and mean about it, so maybe that’s my thing LOL. TMI. And the weirdest thing is that I also love hearing him speak Swedish, English or Spanish; BUT IT’S NOT THE SAME as Dutch. That one is special for me. Well folks that’s my answer. Do you like languages? Which is your favorite one?

With love,

Ale

Day 18: 30 Day LDR Challenge

Today’s activity or challenge is to post a picture of the two of us. Pretty simple right? even more so considering that I’ve already done that in the past 🙂 So here ya go folks, one of our many photos together:

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I don’t feel very inspired to write today. I’m going through kind of a $#1+/ time right now. Sometimes it’s hard to find a way out of the mess one creates.

I hope your day, you reader, is full of light and love.

With love,

Ale